I’ve had every type of Valentine’s Day you could imagine, ranging from the absolutely horrendous to the happily forgettable.
I lost my v-card on Valentine’s Day, in a glorious five minutes that transpired shortly after eating homemade spaghetti and just before we watched a bootleg copy of “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” on my then-boyfriend’s Dell laptop. Romantic!
I broke up with a guy on Valentine’s Day, because I found out he cheated on me the day after I cooked him a v fancy 4-course dinner. Tragic!
I’ve spent many, many V-Days with one of my dearest friends. For six years straight, we’d ditch our significant others, order in Mexican food, twist open a $12 bottle of wine and watch “Showgirls” together. Luxury!
Honestly, it was always the best medicine for whatever was happening in both of our lives, whether we were happily (or very unhappily) single, dating around, in serious relationships, or somewhere in between. And it reminded me that Valentine’s Day isn’t just for celebrating romantic love—it’s a day to rejoice in all of your relationships.
Though it’s become a commercialized, capitalist extravaganza of a holiday, Valentine’s Day is still really sweet to me. A whole day to celebrate human connection?!?!? I MEAN! That’s kind of my dream.
But don’t get me wrong—I get why so many people hate it. It can be kind of an incredibly painful holiday. Even if you’re happy and in love and in a great relationship, Valentine’s day can be a real shit stirrer. If just thinking about V-Day kind of makes your stomach churn, remember you’re not alone.
I think, maybe, it’s right to just lean into whatever comes up for you today. Remy Ramirez reminded me of this quote a few weeks ago, “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.” Basically, don’t half-ass your feelings.
So if you’re feeling sad, let yourself be FREAKIN’ SAD! If you’re all lovey, luxuriate in that. If you’re thinking to yourself, “Being single is the best thing ever,” celebrate that shit. Whatever it is that comes up for you, dive into it headfirst and truly wholeheartedly experience it.
I’m endlessly inspired by love. Cliche AF, but it’s true. I love reading about love, learning about love, reliving lost love, trying to understand love. So in honor of today, here are some love-centered things that will hopefully help you fulfill whatever type of Valentine’s Day you’d like to have. There’s something for the hopeless romantics and commitment-phobic and the I-give-up-I-guess-I’ll-just-die-alone wailers and the single ladies who love being free, so take your time and have fun exploring!
And if you don’t find anything that strikes your fancy, I’ll be your valentine.
First up: Listen to This American Life: Rom Com. Just an excellent 62 minutes of ‘When Harry Met Sally’-level love stories, complete with dramatic running and frantic back-of-cab makeout seshes.
The beautiful choreography of this 4-minute film, LoveSick. The aching is visceral.
I really want to know if anyone here has gotten through “The 36 Questions That Lead to Love.” So many thoughts—how long did it take you? Did you go straight through? Was it fun? Did it work? Should I start every date like this and just hope it ends in eternal undying love and affection? Please tell!
I mean COME ON how cute is this artist couple!?! Stop, I cannot. Their meet-cute story? I’m ded.
Constantly searching for print magazines that double as good reading and gorgeous coffee table fodder. Romance Journal is my number one crush.
It might be my Venus in Pisces talking, but there’s nothing more romantic than a love letter. Or note. Or even just a love text. Or voice memo. Anyway, it’s always nice to have sweet stationery on hand so you can send love notes to anyone anytime you damn please.
Oh yeah, and here’s how tf to find what sign your Venus is in and what that means.
There is absolutely nothing better than having a crush. This article explains why it’s not only healthy to become a little infatuated with someone, but totally normal.
A sweet, sweet question we’ve all likely asked ourselves at some point: How do you know when you’re in love?
“The Lover’s Dictionary” is a quick, breathtaking read that might just make you cry your eyes out … or might make you want to call up and apologize to all your exes. Or both, if you’re really lucky.
One of my favorite Medium articles on love ever. This piece single-handedly got me over a pretty icky breakup. Worth a reread. (Also, Medium’s editors curated a love-themed reading list!)
When in doubt, Kundalini it out. This kriya is for self-love, bb. Get on it.
A visually impressive plot chart about the differences in the words men and women use when they write and talk about love. For the data nerd in all of us.
I really like these two crystal rituals for attracting more love (one for if you’re in a relationship, one for if you’re single) because they don’t involve anything too extreme buying a 20 different gems and setting up a 5-foot wide mandala and drinking the blood of the last guy you slept with or something like that. So simple! So breezy!
And you’re really feelin’ yourself, here’s some lady-friendly porn!